Some solutions to these topics
A generation gap or just independent thinking
Is it okay to disagree and let kids be who they are
Building trust, being patient, and fixing the lack of clarity or mis-interpretation
Speaking to your children like an adult
Children expressing anger and disappointment
Tantrums are a way to express frustration, or is this a learned behavior
Teen tantrums are different than young children
Reward good behavior or reward bad behavior
A generation gap or independent thinking
Is it a matter of a communication gap or independent thinking? What is the difference, and how can we work towards closing this gap?
After conducting numerous interviews on the topic of effective communication with children and strategies to help them express themselves better, I found that some people shared my opinions on how to achieve these goals. Others had a different approach.
Communication between children, their parents, and teachers has significantly changed over the past few generations. We need to find ways to bridge this communication gap, if we cannot close the generation gap.
I'm not sure having a generation gap is a negative thing. The definition of a generation gap is “a difference of opinions and outlooks between one generation and another.” As long as both parties can communicate effectively, having differing opinions may not be harmful and could even indicate independent thinking.
Every generation undergoes changes as time passes, and whether these changes are positive or negative, they should be based on truth.
I believe it's essential to show respect by actively listening and acknowledging the opinions of other generations. It's fine to disagree without determining who is right or wrong."
It is ok to disagree
Whether it is a generation gap or one of many disagreements between children and adults, it is ok to disagree.
If you're trying to teach a child something, make sure you provide clear explanations and factual information to support your teachings.
Misunderstandings can be harmful, so it's important to discipline only when these teachings have been violated.
However, if a child disagrees with an opinion or offers a different solution, it's a sign of them expressing themselves and their own opinions. If you and your child respectfully disagree, it can show that you trust and respect each other.
At the same time, it's important to maintain authority over minor children. When children become young adults, agreeing to disagree and offering solutions based on experience may be necessary.
Children need to learn that it's okay to disagree with others without being mean and that there are times when you can have an opinion but still accept if someone else has a different one.
In any case, respecting what a child thinks and says is a sign of trust.
We have to learn to be a good listener.
3 important tips
How to build Trust- Patience -Clarity
Suggestions are not a cure, every child is different. These tips could help
1. Building Trust
Building trust is crucial for effective communication between parents and children. Trust should be rewarded. It is essential to respect what the child is saying, and it is okay to disagree. Both parties should have equal trust in one another.
Disrespectful behavior is unacceptable. This is a lesson to teach. We must maintain a balance where we do not disrespect the child or their thoughts while still maintaining our authority.
2. Being Patient
Being patient is a difficult task that requires constant effort. It is an essential skill that needs to be developed over time.
Eventually, all conversations need to come to an end, just like a story has a beginning, middle, and end. No need to drag on and on once all the issue have been addressed.
Children can learn the importance of patience early in life by observing the efforts and patience of their parents and teachers.
3. Lack of clarity or misinterpretation
Be clear and precise when communicating with others. If you find that what you said didn't come out right, it's okay to acknowledge it and try again.
Younger people especially may misinterpret what you're saying, so it's a good idea to confirm whether they've understood you correctly by asking “Do you understand what I mean?” Or if they are speaking to you, confirm by asking "Is this what you mean?" Confusion can lead to frustration and cause someone to give up because they don't understand.
A few more tips…
Speaking to your children like an adult
Speaking to young children using adult language can help them mature faster and improve their comprehension skills.
Consider your tone and facial expressions and provide examples to help them understand. If you use harsh or negative language, children may tune it out ( just like an adult might), but if you speak with authority calmly and productively, they are more likely to listen and learn.
Allowing children to be who they are
Letting kids be who they are expands their thoughts and can build self-confidence. Let them embrace their individuality. Celebrate who they are and be involved with their likes. Be inquisitive and show interest in their thoughts, interests, and hobbies.
Boundaries on both sides for independence
Boundaries can help your child understand limits, just like adults. Sometimes, it can be helpful to set separation boundaries. For instance, you can plan a date night a few hours away from your child so that they can gain independence. This will also help them feel secure, knowing that you will be back soon. When you return, be excited to hear about what happened while you were gone.
How kids express anger and disappointment
It is hard to teach a child to express when it could turn into a tantrum, then what?
An interesting point of opinion…
We know these things,
If you feel sad you cry,
If you are feeling scared you look for protection,
If you are happy laugh smile,
If you are frustrated/mad/angry, now what??
It seems the kids need to know how to deal with their negative emotions and explore how to express them just as easily as the positive ones.
Often they do what they see.
It can be challenging to teach a child how to express themselves without resorting to tantrums
A discussion is needed before a normal natural outburst of expression becomes a disruptive tantrum.
Tantrums are a way to express frustration. Or is this a learned behavior?
Typically, we know, the best way to respond to a tantrum is to stay calm. If you respond with loud, angry outbursts, your child might imitate your behavior. Shouting at a child to calm down is also likely to make things worse.
Instead, try to distract your child. A different book or a change of location. If you've asked your child to do something against his or her will follow through by offering to help. If you've asked your child not to play in a certain area, consider showing him or her where playing is OK.
If your child is hitting or kicking someone or trying to run into the street, stop the behavior by holding him or her until he or she calms down.
When your child quiets down, calmly explain your rules.
Don't ignore your child's emotions, as they may not have the words to express them. Teach them at a young age how to handle anger and frustration. It may not be known for years but often the children copy what they see.
It's not healthy to have a child hold in their emotions and not express them.
Think of positive ways to let out their frustration. Be creative, such as particular words or phrases to use. A loud scream, punching or screaming into a pillow, running around outside, dancing, or singing about their anger could also work. Creating an angry work of art is another alternative.
Once they let it out, then they can move on.
Teen Tantrums could be handled differently
"Teen tantrums - do we handle them the same as young children? This is where they are searching for behaviors that work. It's important to establish trust and look at other positive examples.
We should find a way to reward good behavior instead of focusing on the bad. It's important to make sure they understand the difference.
We need to create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings, even if we disagree with them.
“Validating someone's emotions can prevent a tantrum from escalating and reduce the intensity of the emotion”. This means acknowledging the other person's feelings without necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with them, just demonstrating that you are actively listening.
Any behavior that receives attention will likely continue, so it's important to praise good behavior. In some cases, it's okay to agree to disagree and move on."
Here is a very interesting article on Time-outs
In conclusion
This is a discussion that will never end. As the generations change and life evolves, changes happen. We need to embrace life and it's changes while keeping an open mind.
More help…
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/tantrum/art-20047845
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